POETRY and SHORT STORIES.
Devotional Poetry
Amanda Vashti©
Opening and Closing
Wonderful, isn’t it?
To sit with an empty mind
and watch the world dance.
To have a silent chat
with the sun and all her
incandescence before she takes
her final curtsy for the day.
Beautiful, isn’t it?
To see God’s painting change
and hear the birds strumming
their best performances
as the sun finishes her final act in silky red
and allows the Moon to prepare
her opening scene in midnight blue satin.
Lighthouse
God is a white lighthouse,
alone in the middle of blinded
waves of consciousness,
guiding the lost into His light.
Touching each drop of ocean,
at exactly the right moment,
God comes as a tsunami,
redecorating everything.
When the divine hits
shores of the disturbed soul,
it flattens the moving mind
and the vibrating sea stands still.
Finding God
God first visited me
in the form of Christ,
wearing white with fearlessness
emanating from His spirit.
But the next time God
knocked on my door,
He was dressed
as the Buddha.
The same light
I experienced in Jesus
was radiating
through the Bodhisattva.
God waited for me,
shook out my delusion,
pulled away my attachments,
slapped me out of ignorance.
Threw out all the
barriers of religion,
erasing my ideas of duality,
I was initiated as His devotee.
Then God appeared
in the body of Krishna,
with a familiar frequency,
I have known before.
Pure consciousness
is beyond names and forms,
God changed His body,
we changed our clothes.
I kept searching for
Krishna, Buddha and Christ.
I could no longer find them outside of me,
their kingdom was within.
Then, I truly understood,
the teaching,
we are all different parts
of the same body.
Chimes of Silence
Something from the lives before this one,
prompts me to yearn for the One that never dies.
Beyond the realms of newborns and corpses,
to realize the Greatest Lover, Love itself.
Beyond that which is beyond,
there are galaxies that cannot be contemplated.
There is this knowingness deep inside,
that whispers ‘dive the seas of your Cosmic-Self’.
When all the stars dissolve,
in the chimes of Silence, I seek God.
Weep for God
For once, we should turn our tears
upward to the Beloved and cry,
with all that we are for God.
We might even find ourselves,
needing to cry more often.
These are not the usual drops of salt,
for these healing waters purify our hearts,
washing away all the dark spaces,
that ache to be drained out.
The Divine Waltz
You take my hand and we dance,
with our bare feet kissing the universe,
clouds of purple and blue keep us soaring.
We move as One over the skies of heaven,
you twirl me round and round,
body spins but there is complete stillness within,
my white frock flows with the beat of
a silent mantra that echoes through our beings.
We are intoxicated by the divine waltz
and we move as One soul with two bodies,
over the dance floor in the Kingdom of Infinity.
Sacred Melody
Tonight all the lonely souls cry
from their innermost being,
their tear drops descend from
the midnight grey sky and
flutter down to meet the earth,
becoming one with dying leaves.
In the rainforest of isolation,
there is silence this stormy night,
a soundlessness beyond the chants
that the rain hums in the breeze,
the wind chime responds with her
rhythm and the universe begins swaying
to nature’s hymn as divine mother sings
a sacred melody that can only be heard
from the ears that are within.
Lake of Delusion
We watched a living masterpiece
expanding in motion over the horizon.
As pure consciousness surrounded us
we observed the lake of delusion.
Throwing broken sticks at it,
contemplating the ripples we made,
the water vibrated and vanished.
It seemed real until we closed our eyes,
investigating our inner cosmos to realize
something obscure about our world,
it disappeared entirely as we went within.
We wondered far out into the unknown,
to find that this world is nothing but a dream.
Knowing You
I feel so unseen
by the loved ones around me.
That’s supposed to love me deeply,
my being is never acknowledged,
I am left heartbroken and disorientated.
I want your love,
I need you to say that your proud of me,
that you’ve noticed how much I’ve grown,
how hard I’ve worked to get to where I am,
I want you to value the light in me.
I hate being so needy
but there is something deeply
sorrowful in not receiving love
from the ones who raised you,
the ones who’ve held you as a baby.
This grief of realizing the love I need
can never be given from the ones around me,
urging me to curl up onto
the Beloveds lap even more,
to prostrate at His feet and never leave.
It is there I find myself
being drenched in love,
for the Beloved is love,
when I realize You,
I taste what love is.
Then all is clear.
To know You,
is to know love.
Don't Weep My Death
If I die don’t
spend your days living
in sadness and desolation.
Don’t weep at my absence,
my body has fallen
but my essence can never
part from you.
Rejoice, for I
am with you.
Find me in the depths
of your grief.
If you dare to dig deeper
you will discover the immensity
of the love we shared.
Forget my individuality
and remember my purity,
the vastness of my reality.
When you remember
your true nature,
you remember me.
For we are one.
We are always one,
one without
a second.
Formlessness
manifested
in
form.
Nature Devotional Poetry
Amanda Vashti©
My Breath Belongs to Thee
The leaves are alive.
Purer and more wholesome
than most humanly existences.
How would we breathe?
Without the exhalation
of the coconut trees?
Each unseen movement
of the greens entered my lungs
and became a part of me.
My life is my breath
but the air belonged
to the mountain breeze,
stable, unmoving and perfectly balanced.
A spirit, a life that grew patiently,
yet the branches, each living leaf
is a life just as important as me.
The oceans are alive.
The seawater has a spirit,
stronger than most people do.
I couldn’t help but wonder.
What would human life be?
Without the heartbeat of the sea?
Each steady breath of the waves
crashing in a serene melody.
Constant, unwavering and a
persistent form of spiritual energy.
A life just as sacred
and divine as all humanity.
Sleeping by the Sea
What a dream it is,
to fall asleep on this
snowy powdery silky sand,
building a pillow
made of the beach land,
to lay my head
on the softest mattress
made from natures hands.
I close my eyes and
allowed the waves
to sing my favourite lullaby.
The sunlight blinding.
Yet, what a comforting feeling
laying to rest on this icy cold mattress.
How I wish I could describe
the sound of the waves
into words or a rhyme.
But the English language
does no justice to the tune hummed
by the Goddesses of the blue sea.
I close my eyelids and told the island,
‘Carry me far away.’
I drifted deeper and deeper
before I fell completely.
My tanned dark skin coated
by the floury beige earth.
The wind occasionally
tossed bits of dirt over me
as I slept unconscious,
slowly I returned
from my celestial travels
and my eyes opened
to take in the colours
surrounding me.
I could not help but recognise
that I had woken up,
on a paradise so heavenly
that all I perceived was divinity.
The Dive
That moment, the silence,
an intense pause,
then a final deep slow steady inhale,
before diving, submerging, swimming
to the bottom of the city below.
The sea life, alive,
busy under the flowing waves.
The under currents moved
at different intensities,
all streaming in a different headspace
but merging as one conscious energy.
The same united body.
The corals, the colours
what magnificent creatures they are
growing, breathing, surviving
swaying, living, providing homes
at the bottom of the salty ocean.
The aquatic kingdoms, towers,
valleys overthrown by the sea
plantations, intricately designed,
painted perfectly, each pore, freckle, fibre
of the silky hairs on each coral soul.
Moving to the drumming of the waves.
All a part of God’s ocean play
Naked
Bare brown skin
intimately made love
to the breathing grass.
The source of love
flowed upward
from the earth’s core.
Filling souls
with divine positivity
and unwavering acceptance.
The heat of the sun
that knew me as a baby
now shines on the same me.
What has remained unchanged in me?
Uniting with the spirit
of the glowing golden seas.
A voiceless presence of God.
Fallen layers and clothes
no longer masking me.
Shameless, I stand with God.
Cleansed from ignorance,
I am redeemed and atoned.
Stripped into awakening.
In the garden of Eden
everything is holy
even the most unholy parts of me.
Who could I be without goodness and evil?
Beyond our external shells,
we are fully aligned
with our inner psyche.
I am naked.
Naked in my love for Truth.
Nothing between me and God.
Confessional Poetry
Amanda Vashti©
I Still Love You
Last night I leaned closely once again,
pretending that nothing had changed,
falling in love with the voice I knew.
Then my heart dropped from your kiss.
I said it, I still love you.
I still love you.
Even after you lied and felt no remorse,
when you slammed the old door shut,
you walked out of my ugly broken house,
found a new room with your old friends.
I thought I hated you.
But it was worst to love you.
And I did.
I always did.
The Dead Me
There was a me,
that would love you
even as it killed me.
As it destroyed my skin.
I thought you said you loved me?
There was a me,
that forgave you endlessly,
as you crucified my insecurities.
A me, who would let you fuck her
if that made you happy.
There was a me,
that would stop breathing
to please your sickest fantasies,
that would submit completely
to a dominant demonic entity.
There was a me,
that let you beat me down
I’m not your girl just a disposable pawn.
A me, that still wanted your love
even when you became cancer eating me.
There was a me,
a broken poetry.
Trying to write to a lover
that said he loved me,
acting like he hated me.
I hated me.
I loathed what I let you do to me.
But I wanted you.
Clinging, I held on.
Even when it tasted poisonous
like venom on my blue heart,
craving what tore me apart,
a druggie that needed what ruined me,
I tried every drug till I blacked out.
There was a me,
that overdosed on your insanity.
Injecting my veins with darkness,
stabbing arms until blood desiccated.
Then eventually, the green flame
burnt out.
I opened my blinded eyes and woke up.
To realize, I didn’t remember
what love felt like or who I was anymore.
That’s when, the smoking stopped,
the addictions feel out,
veils of ignorance came off.
There was a me,
that died
and came back alive
and then it came back to me.
WHO AM I?
WHO AM I?
WHO I AM.
THIS, IS ME.
Injury
Here it comes once again,
the heart has shattered.
I’m right back in the
tiny room all alone.
All my friends see me smile,
they only see my strength.
Forgetting I too, feel immensely.
Maybe to immensely.
Just a layer of skin deeper
and you’d see the scars.
The opened arteries that
were abandoned; forgotten.
Behind a locked door of solitude.
I sit alone with this heaviness.
When all the stones I’ve thrown
fall back on my shoulders.
There when no one sees,
I allow the tears to flow.
Like a single rain drop
on the ocean.
No one realizes
but it happened.
Only the waves see it.
The brokenness of an injury.
I’m enveloped in frustration,
there is no way out for me.
I’m stuck in worthlessness
and there’s no one to save me.
No one, but me.
Judas
Judas has retreated
from possessing me in my sleep,
he visits the dream
where eyes are opened and I’m awake,
no longer hiding
behind the grey veil of an evil spirit
but through reflections
of past lovers and best friends.
He refuses to put on
his red cape or insincere smile.
Instead he speaks to me using riddles
in plain daylight.
Luring me to fall in love
with his gleaming brown eyes.
But memories replay.
I’m looking at the one who betrayed me.
The same soul that said
he would love me eternally,
handed my heart to those
who have martyred me.
Disguised in bodily costumes
of the beings that I hold dear.
He bleeds lies just to stop me
from fulfilling the prophecy.
No longer trying to snatch
my soul in the spirit world,
Judas traps me in the daily
blinking stages of ignorance,
he loves it when I’m lost
to temporary comforts and fear.
Using my desires and attachments
to keep me enslaved.
But Truth can dissolve
even the most blinded hearts,
for darkness cannot pursue
where light pours out.
The Source destroys every
layer of spiritual oblivion.
Then, I’m left empty
with my ego drained out.
O, how I was always Jesus
but believed I was Judas.
Talks About the Dead
When someone has died,
no one wants to talk
about the mistakes
they once made.
The affairs they had,
how they abandoned
their spouse and children.
They refuse to acknowledge
their mistakes.
Therefore, they
reject their humanity.
They talk about all the
great things they’ve done.
But to love is to love
all of them.
The fullness of their incarnation
which includes their worst parts.
The Real Question
It hurts every time we take a step forward,
You pull me back to the past.
A space I worked so hard to heal from,
Yet, a memory you need to focus on.
How did we go back there, my love?
Why don't you stay with me in the warmth of the present?
The past is important, I agree
but being stuck there is not where I need to be.
How do we dance into our future?
If your mind keeps clinging to ideas of
that which was,
which is no longer,
that which will always be a mistake
if you refuse to remember how much I've grown from all the lessons of those traumatic desolations.
I feel so alone in these dark memories.
I know you’d never judge me but I wish you'd believe me when I said
I never wanted these things to happen to me.
I am naïve I agree
but it’s not who I am and not who I want to be.
I guess the real question is
"Do you really want to be with me?"
Villanelle's
Amanda Vashti©
Silence of the Night
Sit alone, in the silence of the night,
Observe skies shimmering unrealized,
Listen, the darkness sets the stars alight.
Blinded I was trapped with despair to fight,
Fear began to creep around in disguise,
Sit alone, in the silence of the night.
Then faith broke free and became new insights,
Everything faded I was mesmerized,
Listen, the darkness sets the stars alight.
That’s where I saw the space beyond my sight,
Beneath doubts I could open my third eye,
Sit alone, in the silence of the night.
Beyond my ignorance stood true loves might,
Where night fell for day and the two unite,
Listen, the darkness sets the stars alight.
Surrendered the world is eternal light,
Yin and Yang become immaculate white,
Sit alone, in the silence of the night,
Listen, the darkness sets the stars alight.
Poem's about Love
Amanda Vashti©
The Only Sound Tonight
The earth stops revolving
and holds Her breath
when you turn your heart within
and begin playing your strings.
Time shy's away somehow,
Your voice is the only sound tonight.
From you to me
the distance between runs out.
How beautiful.
The melodies we sing
from our hearts that
weep and break
in symphonies.
How lovely.
Your pain paints
the stars silver.
Through the cracks
of black and blue.
Please,
keep singing.
Just
one more
song.
Where this moment
can go on.
